The Truth About Depression
Posted: Monday, August 16, 2010
by Danni Andrew
Out of the Darkness
Depression has plagued most of my adult life and the last months, a welcome respite from the murky waters. I have been depression free for nearly a year and a half. After years of battling depression, searching for the next medication to solve my problems and coming up empty handed, nearly ended my life. Have my prayers not been answered? The illness that nearly killed me is not gone. Am I a failure at this experiment? Am I to return to the halls of medicine with my head bowed? My experiment a failure? I think not!
Now, nearly a year and a half later I have suffered my first relapse. Is it a relapse or merely have I found the edge. Have I pushed myself to the point that I have brought this upon myself? After all, I am a human being. Not wonder woman seeking to conquer the world. I only seek to conquer the demons of depression that lurk in the mirky shadows of my mind.
Shining the light of knowledge only to reveal that I have pushed myself past the boundaries that I already knew existed. Seeking to bring normalcy to my life I have slowly added one thing after another to my busy schedule and ultimately have brought myself to this point. My relapse is merely a warning that I am trying to do too much. A yellow light to caution me to slow down, take a good look and focus on those things that are of most importance in my life.
Losing sight of the role of diet and exercise in my life has brought me to my knees. Allowing myself to eat the foods I know I shouldn't, and becoming lazy in my exercise program has brought me to this place. I am not in a relapse of the illness so much as I am in a relapse of judgement. My life is one that must be managed. Care must be taken to follow the regimen set before me and proven to work. Discipline is my true salvation.
Opening my eyes to see who the true culprit is, and the culprit is I! I am the one who has allowed myself to reach this point. I am the one who must search the pits of my memory and bring myself back to the place where knowledge is my friend and hard work my salvation. Early in the morning I must rise to the occasion and put one foot in front of the other, traveling the road of proper diet and exercise that must bring me, once again, to the place of peace.
My life is my own and I am the one person who can bring me peace. My happiness is not based on the love of and acceptance of others. It is based on my own acceptance of myself. An acceptance of who I am, and of the illness that lurks beneath the shadows of my mind. An illness that does not just go away. Yet, at the same time, this illness is so easily controlled. I must accept the truth and school myself in the discipline that will set me free. Then, and only then will I truly be free.
I choose freedom, and I choose peace. Peace of mind in knowing that my life has value and it is up to me take the steps necessary to free myself of this debilating illness once and for all. Not by the snap of God's fingers, but by the knowledge He has place within my heart teaching me that it is not ridding myself of the possibility of depression in my life. It is knowing that "I" can control that possibility. I am the only one who can take the steps necessary to rid myself of it for the rest of my life.
When I avoid foods high in sugar and fat, I am much less likely to become depressed. Exercise releases endorphins in my brain and allows me to think much more clearly. The simplicity of it all is mind blowing. By simply watching what I eat and involving myself in an exercise program I can control the symptoms. For a year and a half I have been free of depression. Once I stopped exercising the slide to depression was inevitable. I never saw it comiing!
This simple answer cannot be found in a pill, nor can it be prescribed by any pharmaceutical giant. The key to controlling depression lies within good old fashioned hard work!! A realization that I must live my life in spite of this illness. Not without it! Knowing what the boundaries are, and working within them is the ultimate freedom!
(c)copyright 2010 danni andrew
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Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)Straight from the heart and well said. I hope you're back on the path of freeing yourself of this very real, very daunting illness Danni. All the best to you.Thank you. My life has been on this journey a very long time. It's not over yet, but I am definitely making progress. Danni
Well Said and Well Done! I am right there with you.Thank you. I appreciate the feedback. It helps me to gauge my work as a not so new writer, but new at feedback that doesnt come from family and friends! :) Danni
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