I am Who I Am....Because I have A Great Mother!
Posted: Friday, April 29, 2011
by Danni Andrew
Out of the Darkness
I can't think. My brain is so much on overload that I cannot remember what I am supposed to be doing. So many things are running through my mind and I can't make sense of all of them. I heard somewhere that when a life ends, another begins. Or is that some figment of my imagination?
You see, my Mother is in the Intensive Care Unit after suffering a stroke, seizures and complications from diabetes . She is 79 years old. I have tried to be there for her, yet the constant battle of two very hard-headed women seemed only to make things worse. My plan was to care for her in her twilight years. Her plan was to be as independent as possible. A decision, I fear that has left her in this condition. After much frustration, I moved out only two short months ago. And now, she is in the hospital, possibly on her death-bed after being found on the floor for an undetermined amount of time.
My Mom had four children of her own, thirteen grandchildren and numerous great grandchildren. She was married very young to a marriage that only lasted a short time. In her twenties she married George Andrew and they had four children. After 22 years of marriage they parted ways. My Mother stayed single for seven years, then met and married Samuel Eugene Foster. George Andrew passed in 2001 as the result of a motorcycle accident. Samuel Foster resides at Cedar Ridge Nursing Home due to complications from Multiple Sclerosis .
My Mother was the driving force in the Family Planning clinic back in the late 70's. She wrote the original grant for Family Planning, a non-profit organization that helped women who had no insurance get basic health care and birth control, along with education and family planning. It has been said that the grant my Mother wrote and acquired approval for was taken over by another non-profit organization and is still in use by that organization. The organization is said to be Presbyterian Medical Services.
My Mother was an avid gardener who loved her plants and was noted for her African Violet collection. She could be seen in her garden on just about any spring morning. She would stay out there for hours and come in only when she couldn't see anymore because the sweat was dripping down into her eyes. Or her blood sugar was dangerously low.
My Mother is one of few survivors of pancreatic cancer. I say she stole 17 years from the grim reaper. When in truth she loved the Lord and He blessed us with her presence for 17 years. Now she is lying in the Intensive care unit and I wonder how she has made it this far. IT is the true grit that is deep within her that doesn't allow her to give up that wills her tired body to continue living. I pray for God's will for her that if she can get better, I hope and pray she does. It saddens my heart deeply to have to look into her eyes and see her the way she is.
It is true that my Mom and I battled on many issues. I guess the apple does not fall far from this tree and I am my Mothers daughter. Hard headed and determined to do things my own way. I write these words while she is still alive, as I am afraid that when her tired body finally gives out and I am left with the grief only a child can feel, I will be unable to write them. My heart is heavy this morning and I am unable to lift myself out of this chair and face yet another day of visits to the hospital and the nursing home and chance meetings in the hallway with my family that is unhappy with some of the decisions I have made for my Mothers care. I am her Power of Attorney , a job that is thankless and requires decisions that are not always popular.
I want to scream and cry and throw things. Instead I sit and stare at the wall. There are so many things that need to be done, yet I cannot think what they are, nor can I move my feet to get any of them done. I must lift my grieving head and face yet another day. I would not be the woman I am today without the genes of my parents. My Father was an accomplished writer, and my Mother was simply the strongest woman I know. I want to put a cape on her with big WW's on it because she truly was Wonder Woman !
I must take a deep breath, wipe the tears from my eyes and get out of the chair. Work still must be done and I must continue taking care of her and my Papa Sam Foster as well. He is having a very rough time and while I wipe my tears, put on a brave face before I go see him. I will cry my tears out of his sight. I must be strong for him. He is an old man with no one left once his wife passes. She took care of him for many years. Now it is passed to me, and I will care for him the best way I know how as long as he lives.
Sleep well my dear Mother. I understood you better than most I think. We are alot alike. Rest well knowing that when you awake you will be in the presence of Jesus. When the trumpet sounds, the dead shall rise. Your spirit lives on and will forever touch my life. I am who I am because I have a great Mother .
(c)copyright 2011 Danni Andrew
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Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)My heart goes out to you Danni. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your beautiful mother.ooooooo this is a very lovely thing that you write about your mum
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